"Half of my heart has a grip of the situation..."

I'm kinda stuck. I can't live with half of my heart. Alexandria kind sucks and i want to move, I not allowed to but I REALLY want too. People around here have treated me like crap and I don't know whats true and whats not anymore. I know life happens and that this is apart of life but shouldn't I be able to change my life and not let this happen to me. I want to go so that they can't do aynthing anymore. If I leave and shut them then they lose the power they THINK they have over me. They are no more powerful than I am. I think I have actually have more power than them even if I am athe one being attacked. I know who I am. I know how I want people to treat me. I know what I want to do in my life. I'm not going to sit back and let this all happen. I will stop it. Other than my family and a few good friends then nothing is here for me. People here are so fake and have one face with you and another with someone else. They can seem like great, amazing people then be more screwed up than you could ever imagine. I may be decriving everyone else's life while I'm writing this but its not fair that we have to actually let people do this. Jack Black had it right when he said stick it to the man.
I think what what set this off is that I finally have hada chance to look back at 2009. To cut it short, 2009 sucked some major butt and I am ready for it to be over. I have lost so much and be knocked down so many times I'm surprised that I hav made it out as good as I have. I got some battle scars that are going to stay around to remind me of what I went through but hey. I'm still kinda alive.

"If you asked me if I loved him...I'd lie"

No one knows how much I wish this hadn't fallen apart. You aren't who I thought you were. My heart hates you but loves you at the same time. I love what you stand for. I love your smile. I love the way you look at me. I love the way you make me laugh. I love al of this but I don't know why you would do something this stupid. Its kinda sad when I can trust your friends that i hardly know better than you. Its not that I won't forgive you because I already have but I want to understand why you would make such idiotic choices. I don't see any reason we can't work this out but I need you to tell that this is in your past. If this is who YOU want to be then I can't hold you back but I won't watch you fall to pieces. You mean too much to be able to watch that.

"The more you dream the more I believe that nothing is ever out of reach"

I will make my dream true . End of story. I will be up on the stage, spotlight on me, singing out my little heart with guitar in hand, singing a song about you. I am pushing for this. If Alexandria has nothing for me than there must be something else out there for me to be working towards. Music makes me strong. I want to bring strength to others.